Wednesday, September 30, 2009

A little bit of masochism, a little bit of voyeurism

Finally made it out to a West Coast Swing night. My westie friends weren't kidding when they said there are great dancers here! My toe is really angry with me for dancing on it all night, but I say it was worth it. Even if I can't walk today.

I realize that a lot of my readers aren't dancers, so I thought I'd embed a few sample clips here to give you a rough idea of the various dances I've been talking about.

West Coast Swing
Parker Dearborn and Melissa Rutz dancing in a jack & jill competition (random partners, improvised dancing). Melissa Rutz is pretty much my favourite West Coast Swing follow ever. I love her style and energy. Watch to the end if you can.



Blues
A bunch of cool people performing a sweet team routine at BluesSHOUT! 2009. I'm happy to say I was there to see this live.

Linked rather than embedded because it was captured in widescreen and was messing with my layout

Lindy Hop
Todd & Kelly facing off against Skye & Frida in the mid-tempo competition (also improvised, to live music) at the 2008 Ultimate Lindy Hop Showdown. Not a super great quality video, but I think it captures the dance really well.



And just for good measure, because it's really fun to watch, here's some capoeira. I don't know the people involved, I just want to be them when I grow up.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

So this is what they were talking about

Yesterday, I had my first experience in a mainstream school. I was working in the Speech & Language department, which is still special needs (learning support), but the kids seemed pretty normal to me. I guess everything is relative. After working with kids who can barely communicate, feed themselves, or go to the toilet on their own, kids who just have a bit of a harder time retaining information seem like downright geniuses to me.

The culture shock didn't end there, though. This school was enormous! Nearly 1500 students vs. maybe 50-100 at the others. It was completely chaotic.

First period, I helped out in a history lesson for students who had been pulled out of regular classes. They were talking about the slave trade, which was actually really interesting. I kept flashing back to The Book of Negroes (one of the best books ever - if you haven't read it, you should) while we went through the lesson, as pretty much everything we were talking about was chronicled in the book.

Second period, I was told I was supposed to be working with a couple of the boys from my first class, but they weren't in the room I was told they'd be in. They were, in fact, in French class. But they weren't supposed to be in French class, and when we finally found them, they came in with another teacher from Classroom who said he was meant to be working with them. So instead, I tutored two other boys... one of whom spent most of the time trying to set me up with his dad: "Miss, you are so beautiful. Have you got a boyfriend? Would you like me to find you one? My dad hasn't got a girlfriend. He was in a rock band. I'm going to tell my dad I found him a beautiful Canadian girl." Hilarious but a bit awkward.

Third (and last) period, I was in a regular Year 8 maths class as one on one support for one of the boys. I'm still not sure why I was there, since he didn't seem to need or want my help. I did my best to keep him on task and let him know I was there for him, but wound up spending most of my time helping out another boy who did genuinely want to learn. It was a bit of a challenge at first, since I barely remember how to do any math, but once the teacher explained it, I understood immediately. Which makes me wonder if maybe I should pick up some math workbooks and retrain myself. I may actually be decently good at it this time around.

Anyway, being in that class was certainly an enlightening experience. I've heard all this talk about how unruly classrooms in Britain are, but I hadn't experienced it yet for myself. I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched the class spent the entire period calling out, throwing paper balls, breaking and throwing pencil crayons, chatting, and fighting each other. The teacher had no control. I don't think he handled the situation very well, but then I imagine it must be really difficult to deal with that every day. How do you handle that? Not just in practical terms, but I mean, how do you handle the stress? How do you not let it wear you down, and have it turn you into a lesser teacher? I noticed that the teachers at my last school had become quite jaded, as well. How do you guard against that?

And how can I, as a temporary TA, help? I'm still learning how everything works over here, and of course it doesn't help that every school and every teacher has different rules and methods. I continually find myself in the awkward situation of trying to manage all the behavioural issues without actually knowing how they want them handled or what my boundaries and responsibilities are. I've kicked my observational skills into high gear and I'm learning a lot as I go along, but I long for a long-term placement where I can start to feel more in control.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Beautiful days

The weather here in London has been absolutely glorious the past few days. I hope I don't jinx it by writing that, but so far the daily forecast has been holding steady at 20ish degrees and sunny.

So what does one do on beautiful, sunny weekend days in London? Walk, of course! I've done so much walking since I got here, I think my legs are preparing to fall off.

Yesterday, I wandered over to Holborn to meet up with my friend Christine. We walked down to the Thames, across to the Big Ben, up through Trafalgar Square to Covent Garden, and back again. An EiD festival was happening in Trafalgar Square, and this random Dame Edna lookalike was there juggling.


Later on in the evening, we got together again for a light dinner and off we went to Down Home Blues, followed by an after party at Charlotte Street Blues. Great night.

Today, we headed over to the Regent Street Festival, which wasn't nearly as big or exciting as the Thames Festival, but still a nice way to kill a bit of time on a Sunday afternoon. They had a carousel and a ferris wheel that went at least 50% faster than the ones at Carnivale (which were already the fastest I'd ever seen, by far).


After spending a good deal of time in the National Geographic store and being joined by Kirbie, we decided to wander over to Speakers Corner in Hyde Park, where Jodi and Tyson were hanging out. We got a little distracted on the way by this awesome street art. Shiny!



At Speakers Corner, this crazy lady was rambling on and on about how all non-English people should go back to their home countries. I offered a rough translation to a couple of French tourists standing behind me, and also chatted up this Free Hugs guy...


I guessed correctly that he was from Scotland. My ear for accents is improving! Meanwhile, I'm still amazed by how many people think I'm Australian.

Ahhh, London. Never a dull moment.

PS - As though that weren't already enough excitement for the day, when I got home, I finally found the legendary Benito's Hat burrito place. Mexican food has never tasted this good.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

One toe short

This post was inspired by my friend Krista, who's dealing with a similar ailment.

A couple of months ago, in the midst of my yoga teacher training, I sprained two of my toes. This sucked, of course, because it meant I had difficulty participating in the remainder of the course. But at least I still had a car to help me get around, and I learned to suck it up and deal with the pain before long.

A few days ago, while getting up out of bed, I managed to break one of my nearly-healed toes. This sucks a lot more because I live in London where I need to walk a lot. And dance a lot. And work a lot with special needs students who have no qualms about crushing my toes.

But I'm still sucking it up and dealing with the pain (which is not limited to my toe, but cramping up my calf as well), because life is not nearly as fulfilling without walking and dancing and working with special needs kids. Capoeira may need to be put on hold for a while longer, though, which is very sad indeed.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Think positive

I have deleted my last entry. Not because I don't think it's a good thing to acknowledge fear, sadness, and vulnerability... I do. That's why I wrote it to begin with. But living here and seeing how various people respond to this city have really brought to light the importance of positive thinking.

I received an early morning phone call yesterday that granted me two more days of work. I was at another special needs school, out on the edge of the Earth (aka Zone 4 - it cost me £10 and at least 3 hours round trip each day). This school was smaller and not as well-off, and the staff, although lovely, was not quite so upbeat. The students were also much more abled.

I could tell you a million stories about them, but I'm afraid I'm much too tired. Suffice it to say that I really love this type of work. It is so rewarding. And no matter how awful these children can sometimes be (because many of them have conditions that cause them to lash out), you can't help but love them.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I could have danced all night... if only the tube didn't shut down so early

Ok, so here's the entry I promised about dancing in London. I think it was fate that it got delayed, because as of last night, I am feeling much better about it.

Blues
You already know from my cryptic references that things are going well in this arena. Damon Stone was here teaching a workshop a few days before I arrived (and fortunately, he stuck around for an extra week, so we got to dance and hang out). His workshop sold out two months in advance, despite blues dance being a relatively unknown thing in the UK. So it seems I have arrived at exactly the right time. Not only that, but I happened to move in just around the corner from their weekly venue. Coincidence or fate? I don't know, but I'm loving it. Anyway, Damon generously and unexpectedly mentioned my name to the organizers and, as a result, they expressed interest in working with me before I even arrived! They've included me in their meetings and discussions, asked me to teach (and conduct a teacher training), and just generally have been very open to what I have to offer. They're a brilliant bunch - very fun and smart about how they do things - and it has been a delight to work with them. I also get to teach my very first UK blues dance private lesson this evening. Looking forward to it.

Lindy hop
The lindy hop scene here is huge, and I've been trying to check out as much of it as I can. So far I've been to A Train out in Hammersmith, the 100 Club on Oxford (a 2 minute walk for me), and C Jam in Balham, as well as to a Tuesday night at Charlotte Street Blues, a swing dance picnic in Regent's Park, and an outdoor dance at the Thames Festival. All of it has been fun, but it wasn't until last night at C Jam when I was able to bust out with the kind of dancing I really wanted to do. I definitely want to make more of a habit of going, but it's a shame that it's so far and the tube shuts down so early.

Some interesting observations about the lindy hop scene here:
- Everyone seems to know Collegiate Shag and it's already been led on me a whole bunch of times. This is exceedingly uncommon everywhere I've danced in North America. I'm grateful to be one of the few North Americans who do actually dance it.
- It seems to be common practice here to dance more than one song in a row. Or at least, nearly every person I've danced with has asked me for more than one song in a row. I don't usually mind it... and definitely don't when I'm having a really good time dancing with somebody. It's also nice in that it ensures I spend more time dancing. But it also means I don't ever really get to take a break. As soon as I sit down, I am almost inevitably snatched up for another 2+ dances (which probably means the ratios are also more in the girls' favour here).

West Coast Swing
I haven't made it out to dance WCS yet. I tried on my first night here, but the night turned out to have been cancelled. I'm really eager to check it out soon, though, since I've heard so many good things about the scene.

Contemporary and Capoeira
I promised myself I'd start taking classes in these styles as soon as I arrived. I still haven't. Maybe next week?

Next on the (long term) dancing agenda:
- Find a dance partner (in addition to Jamie, because he's wonderful but rarely in town and already works with a couple of other people)... though I'm not exactly sure how to go about this
- Do some teaching and establish a (hopefully good) reputation
- Start spreading the idea that maybe, just maybe, the rest of Europe might benefit from having me teach in their cities :)

Here's hoping!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Just dance, gonna be ok...

As the days go on, with still no long term contract in sight, my confidence is beginning to wane. The jury's in, and I apparently don't have the right experience for the jobs I'd been submitted for. I'm a little perplexed by how I'm not qualified to TA for a performing arts class, seeing as I'm a performing arts teacher (and a darned good one at that), but that's what she wrote. And that concerns me, because if I can't do what I'm most qualified to do... I can't do anything. I have a one day stint lined up for next Monday (speech and language department at a secondary school), but the rest of my universe remains uncertain.

In the meantime, though, I have plenty of projects on the go:

- Starting voice lessons again soon
- Hopefully rallying some musicians together to put on a show at Proud Camden, where I can rent out hire a room for free
- Doing lots of great stuff with Blues Revolution, which I'm really excited about because they are awesome
- Rebuilding my website (no link yet 'cause it's far from finished)
- Thinking about my upcoming trip to Wales
- Registering for a doctor! Finally! I haven't had one for at least 10 years.

Plus, my mini fridge arrived today. Happiness.

I originally intended for this entry to be mostly about dance, but at this point that would make it far too long. So keep your eyes pealed for a post about dancing in London, coming soon to a blog near you.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

I've fallen in love

No, I haven't met any rich, handsome Englishmen yet. In fact, I've barely met any English people at all and need to do something to remedy that. But I have still managed to fall in love... with the students at the school where I worked yesterday.

Yes! I finally worked! And it was wonderful.

I received a call at 8:30 am asking if I'd be willing to help out in a Severe Learning Disabilities school. Yes! I had 10 minutes to get ready and figure out how to get there (Classroom helped with this, but I'm still in the habit of walking in the wrong direction absolutely every time I try to go anywhere). By the time I arrived, it was 10:10 am and I hadn't eaten breakfast aside from a juice box from the tube station. Oh well!

My class consisted mainly of 18/19 year olds, which I was shocked to learn because judging by their appearance, I would have guessed they were maybe 12. Tops. They all had profound and multiple disabilities (mental age of approximately 2.5 years old) and were among the lowest functioning students in the school. But holy cow were they ever happy and sweet. Same with the teachers. Everyone there was the embodiment of positivity.

Our day was a far cry from what you'd expect to see in a mainstream school. There weren't any lessons, per se. It was all sensory activity. Painting, massage, lots of time playing outside. They have one hour before or after lunch when they break off into various activity groups (visual art, sport, performing arts, and one more I didn't catch). These terms are used quite loosely. I spent time with the performing arts group, where they played Wii and with remote control cars and had a piano they could bang away at, and the sport group, where they did whatever they felt like outside. They had lots of props designed for stimulation. I wound up spending a good deal of my time jamming (singing and playing drums) with a musically talented Portuguese boy.

By the end of the day, I (and my new friend Lucy, the student with whom I spent most of my day) felt ready to pass out. Add in a very long walk to find the spot where I was to join my friends for supper (walked the right way, then doubted myself and walked the wrong way, then had to walk the right way again) and you get all the necessary ingredients for a very tired panda. But also a very happy one.

I am so impressed with the educational resources they have here. It makes Canada seem like a third world country in comparison.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Everything's coming up roses

Today's sunshine comes as a welcome contrast to last night's stormy weather. This morning, a few of us set out to see the changing of the guard, but missed it due to not being able to grab a good view through the crowd. Still, it served the purpose of getting us out and about to enjoy the lovely weather. From Buckingham Palace, we walked through the park to Piccadilly Circus, where we stopped for lunch (and found a Tim Horton's!), and then eventually wandered home. I can't believe how close we are! It couldn't have been more than a 20 minute walk back.


Anyway, once we got home, I sent off an email to my contact at the agency, just to confirm my interest and send some updated information for my file. We've all been freaking out a little, because even though we know it's still early in the school year and things will come together soon enough, it's hard being uncertain of your next paycheque. So imagine my relief when, not even 10 minutes later, I received a call from Classroom asking if they could submit my resume for two long-term positions that have just come up. Um, of course!!!

One is working in a mainstream school reception class, one-on-one with a boy who has low functioning autism. The other is in a mainstream secondary school as a TA for their performing arts program. I had gotten excited about the idea of working in a special needs school, but both of these opportunities sound awesome. Here's hoping one of them works out.

Tonight, I'm heading out to the new weekly blues night run by Blues Revolution. They've asked me to teach for them, so I'm looking forward to getting acquainted with everyone and getting a sense of the scene. Blues dancing is just beginning to pick up here, but there seems to be a very enthusiastic, willing-to-learn bunch of dancers, and that's so exciting for me. Bonus, too, that the venue is literally a 2 minute walk away. Should be fun.

Monday, September 14, 2009

"Let me try this on the ginger"

I spent yesterday taking in the sights, sounds, and scents of the Thames Festival.


When we set out, I had no idea what I was getting into. This festival was huge!!! It spanned from Westminster Bridge to Tower Bridge, which Google Maps tells me is 2.3 miles (yes, we walked all of it, and most of the way back). The whole way along was packed with awesome: taping of a CBBC show, a trapeze (that you could try... sadly, we missed this), free runners, a wheel of death, a night carnival, welly-throwing competitions and sandcastle building at the beach, swing dancing to live music, archaeological walks, photography master classes, a market (I had a vendor call me a "ginger" - teehee!), street performers, and much, much more. I even got a massage.

My favourite part, though, had to be the fire garden. It was like stepping into another world. Imagine, if you will, a garden with fire suspended everywhere. Here's the description from the program, as they describe it better than I do:
Fire alchemists Compagnie Carabosse are one of France's most important street arts groups. For this major commission they create a magical and awe-inspiring fire garden outside Tate Modern with animated fire machines, garlands of flamepots, boilers that belch flame and glorious structures laced with fire.
I felt as though I had suddenly become a part of some kind of crazy commune.

The festival was punctuated by the greatest fireworks display I have ever seen, designed by winners of the International Fireworks Festival in Montreal.


It astounds me that this seems to have been just a no-big-deal festival on a run-of-the-mill weekend in London. One thing's for sure, I will never be bored so long as I am living here. I just worry what it'll be like to go back to the rest of the world.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Fashion

Over the past few years, I've developed a thing for fashion. I'm not exactly sure how it crept up on me, seeing as I used to be the type to wear oversized, worn out overalls, folded over and tucked in to look like jeans. I shudder just thinking about it. Anyway, over the past few years I've realized how much better I feel when I know I look good, and I've made it a priority to always feel that way.

That was relatively easy to do in Ottawa. Now I live in London.

European style is different. And while I'm not one to blindly follow the crowd, my sense of style has always been based on looking well put together without necessarily standing out too much. Classic with a twist; a nice silhouette with a bold colour or an interesting cut. Here, you stand out if you aren't more daring.

Rather than give in to my shopaholic tendencies (difficult, since amazing clothes are everywhere I turn), I'm trying very hard to simply reconsider how I pair items together. So far, I think I'm doing ok. My scarf collection has certainly seen more daylight in the past week than it had in the previous year. And I'm definitely going to be loading up on tights... and maybe a few key items like those fabulous green patterned pumps I saw in Camden Market (I'm still dreaming about those).

Beyond that, I'm going to rely on the help of Closet Couture -- a free website based on every little girl's fetish for paper dolls. You upload pictures of your wardrobe, then mix and match to create outfits. You can even design outfits for other people, or have them design them for you. Along with my flare for fashion, I've also developed a love of design in general, so I love this concept. I spent all of yesterday editing and uploading photos of my dresses and shoes. I still have a long way to go before all of my tops, jackets, vests, trousers (I'm being careful not to say pants), skirts, belts, and scarves are up there... but I can sense the potential, and I can't wait.

Friday, September 11, 2009

My first few days in paradise


It has to be said: I love London. The rhythm, the energy, the overwhelming opportunity and diversity... it suits me. Still, I'm glad to have been able to take most of today to slow down, relax, and catch up.

I arrived here on Tuesday, and so far I've been on the go pretty much nonstop. A quick recap:

Tuesday - Fly to London. Feel all posh due to having my own private driver. Check into my accommodations (which are lovely, and the people are so nice!). Marks & Spencer for cheap linens. Supper with Mackenzie (a fellow Classroom Canada teacher I'd met in Ottawa). Drinks at our local pub with Mackenzie and Shannon (another Classroom Canada teacher I'd met in Ottawa). Meet up with Damon (a friend from the States who's here teaching blues dancing) and company for West Coast Swing, which turned out not to be happening. Blues bar where there are random dancers. Hot chocolate. Very long walking tour of my neighbourhood, trying to remember where I live.

Wednesday - Meeting with Classroom (which was great, and I'm totally excited for what I'll be doing... more on that later). Lunch and shopping in Notting Hill (where I ate pizza with dough that's so far only been paralleled by one bistro in Brooklyn, as well as some very good gelato) with Damon and my new friends Kavita and Emily. Home. Try to go out again for a solo blues class, but realize I don't know where I'm going and don't have much time to get there. Opt for watching football at our pub with a whole big pile of Classroom Canada teachers. Feel increasingly British.

Thursday - Camden Market with Mackenzie and Shannon. Pass through the very lovely Regent's Park on the way. Buy a delicious raw chocolate raspberry smoothie, three elegent posters of London, and a gorgeous red cashmere coat. Obtain hangers from a dry cleaner and FINALLY put my clothes away. Feel incredible sense of relief. Supper at a super cool Japanese restaurant with my friend Jamie Cameron. Dancing at a quiet venue in Hammersmith. Dance lots and lots with Jamie Cameron. Surprise myself by not really getting lost on the way home.

Today - Groceries from Sainsbury's. Bed. Blogging. Supposed to go out tonight with some people from my building. I've yet to decide if I have the energy. Bed.

Where natural beauty abounds

Given that I now live in one of the largest, most exciting cities in the world, I'm glad I stopped in Iceland, where its charms are just the opposite. Most of what I have to say about that can best be said in pictures.





I didn't really feel like I'd experienced Iceland, though, until the end of my trip. Reykjavik's a cute little city, but Iceland is really all about its wilderness. On my last evening there, some dancers took me out to a cave. I had to walk about a mile over volcanic rock and thick moss, through blueberry patches and past random pinecones (notable for the complete lack of nearby trees), trusting three strangers and a GPS to guide me there and back safely. There were moments when I wondered if I was losing my mind. But then I gazed around at the magestic beauty and noted the wild grin on my face and realized it didn't matter.





After all that, though, I was so hungry that the traditional Icelandic hot dog became the most beautiful thing I'd seen all day.


Ahhh, the perfect end to the perfect day.

Leaving Home

I have quite a bit of blogging to catch up on, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to present it all to you in a lump sum of entries.

The hardest part of moving to London has most definitely been having to say goodbye to my life and friends in Ottawa.



Over the past three to four years, I've formed deeper relationships with people than I ever have at any other point in my life. These people have had a profound effect on me... for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, in good times and bad times, in sickness and in health.

But while it has been difficult to say goodbye, my leaving has also brought us closer together. Ruined friendships were rekindled. Opportunities were seized. Moments were shared.

Sometimes, I think, saying goodbye is the only way to say hello.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

This city's frigging huge

I'm in LONDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love my new digs and all is well in the world. I even have internet already set up. I promise to write more soon, but first I need to shower and shop. It's tough to unpack without any hangers.

PS - When moving to a new city with a crapload of luggage, hiring a private car is the right way to go. For sure.

Frolicking through the Shire

Today was the day that made the whole trip to Iceland worthwhile. Caving was incredible. I'll write more about it when I have time, but for now let me summarize it this way: I felt like I was in the Lord of the Rings. There's no other way to explain the hills, the moss, the volcanic rock, the mist. Exhausting yet exhilarating, frightening yet liberating. There were moments when I questioned the sanity of leaving my life up to near strangers. Thankfully, it turns out that my life was in good hands.

The Flybus picks me up in less than 5 hours, so I'm going to attempt to get some sleep. Perhaps I'll write from the airport, but if not... take care out there in the blogosphere. I'm not sure when I'll have internet access again.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Random little nuggets

- On the way in from the airport, there is a sign featuring a veritable banged up car warning motorists to drive safely
- Reykjavik has a lot of graffiti everywhere... and I kind of think it adds to the charm
- The Saga Museum is worth the hike, if only for the spectacular views of the city and the hilarious audio tour of wax statues
- Had breakfast at Café Paris, which is right next to the English Pub and the Icelandic Bar. They served me more bacon than I knew humanly possible
- I'm going caving this evening... a deal I arranged with local dancers in exchange for me giving them a private lesson
- I was asked by a café owner if I'm from Germany. Huh??
- I chatted with an Australian, an American, and another Canadian last night in the common room. People who hang out in hostels in unusual countries are pretty interesting people
- I fly to London way too early tomorrow morning
- I still don't feel any different

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre

There are so many funny signs here. For instance, today I passed a building named Bacon. On it, there was a mayonnaise sign. Then I passed a bus shelter ad for the movie Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre. Hmm... sounds tempting!

An hour and a half until dancing time and I'm thinking of taking another nap. Who knew an afternoon in a hot spring could make you feel so sleepy?

I counted 2 sheep then passed out cold

I slept for 22 hours. Seriously. I blame the jetlag and the surprisingly cozy hostel bed. I didn't get out clubbing. I thought about it when I woke up at 11 pm to the sounds of people having fun, but all my carefully-selected clubbing outfits were in my missing suitcase, anyway.

Speaking of which, the missing suitcase is no longer missing! I'm going to pick it up at the Flybus station today on my way to the Blue Lagoon.

And then, tonight... swing dancing! I am oh so curious to see what the scene is like here.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

It's cold here

Well, I've arrived safely in Iceland. The trip was relatively painless and uneventful, aside from the hassle of dragging my enormous luggage collection up two flights of hostel stairs. I had one of my bags taken by accident from the Flybus. Here's hoping I get it back! I'm not too worried yet, since people in Iceland don't seem to be sketchy, but it'll be a huge loss if I don't find it. It was one of my carry on bags (aka it had important stuff in it).

It's 9:20 am here, but 5:20 am in Ottawa. So even though I slept most of the way, I'm pretty tired. I want a nap so badly but I can't get into my room until 2. I think I'll go wandering soon and find myself some coffee.

Anyway, as expected, this is a pretty neat place. I've been taking pictures and will post some as soon as I can.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Panic!!

I'm leaving tomorrow and I'm not ready... physically or emotionally. My way of dealing with it is sitting here at the computer, not packing. How did the date sneak up on me so fast?

Ok, it's time to focus. I'm going to go for a walk and then get to work. And breathe. Must remember to breathe.