Behaviour Management

I was not an easy child. I was stubborn, underachieving, and prone to tantrums, and I feel deeply sorry for anyone who had to deal with me during those years. But I was also very self-aware and I remember trying, futilely, to explain that I would cooperate better if I were approached in a different way.

That memory forms the foundation of my theories about behaviour management. Figure out what makes a child tick and they will instantly respond to it. No tears, no stress. It usually works.

Children in London, however, are a different story. While all children need boundaries, British children need those boundaries to be tight and strictly enforced. This is the land of the stiff upper lip, where children are meant to be seen and not heard. They are accustomed to adults who are firm, distant, and regularly cross. Doomed is the teacher who tries to accommodate their pupils, for they will take that as a sign of weakness and promptly exploit it.

While I am not necessarily a fan of this approach, it is not without its merits. I've personally compromised on a balance that involves being kind, warm, fun, and encouraging most of the time, but quick to snap on my "don't mess with me" face the moment a child oversteps a boundary. I've noticed that many of the most successful teachers I've witnessed tend to do the same. I like this balance and I will probably stick with it no matter where I'm teaching.

The problem, though, is that a one-size-fits-all approach will never work for everybody. There are always going to be children who don't respond well to being scolded and punished for their misbehaviour. One of these children is in my class.

He's one of those kids who is always causing trouble of one sort or another; causing disruptions, bothering other children, refusing to listen. He winds up being told off over and over again throughout the day ("What's wrong with you?" "Why is it always you?") and spends at least a quarter of each day in time out. Clearly, something isn't working.

I tried talking to him about it today. I asked him what he liked about school (playing with others and maths) and what frustrated him (his teacher getting cross). I asked him if he knew why he did things to make her cross and he said that he didn't (and denied misbehaving to begin with). Then I said something that made his ears perk up: "I want to help you." I told him we could work toward him not getting in trouble all the time, but that he had to help me too. He agreed.

So that's my goal. So far, my hypothesis is that he simply isn't ready for the subdued, rigid structure of Year 2 in Britain (what 6 year old boy is, really?). He has excess energy that needs a better outlet, and would also benefit from some coaching on anger management. More positive attention probably wouldn't hurt, either. This site has some really good suggestions. I'm not sure yet how I'm going to go about this, though, given that I'm not his teacher (and his teacher has very different ideas on how to react to him). Your suggestions are welcome.

In other news, I am still frustrated to high heaven with this weather and London's inability to cope. I was stuck on my train for 2 hours this morning because the train in front of us broke down. I didn't get in to work until 10. Then my train on the way home was discontinued partway through due to chaos at Victoria station. It doesn't help the behaviour situation, either, when the kids aren't allowed to go play outside.

Ohhhhh when will it be spring?!